I need my hearing checked.
My wife told me the other evening “I’m going to go ride the guys tomorrow morning. They’ll be about 20-40 of them.” After realizing I must have missed a “with” after the word go, I thought about what she said. Unless my wife is starting a new career on youporn, I understood she meant it was time for another group bike ride with her friends. That and it’s time for a visit to an audiologist. Although the situation is funny to us, for many couples a racer’s group of friends is a source of problems.
Triathletes and marathoners participate in a sport that to an extent encourages the type of egotism that causes non-athletes to feel excluded. So if your partner has a group of new friends that you don’t feel welcome being around, there is going to be problems eventually. A while back Kimee and I went to a party by a local tri club she’s in. Care to guess the grand total of non- athletes out of 30 or so people? 2- Just me and one other husband. I’m normally not great at working a room, but this was ridiculous. At the beginning we all had to introduce ourselves. As soon as it was realized I wasn’t an athlete, there was no reason to talk to me. The only person who carried on a lengthy conversation with me wanted me to donate one of the knives I make as a door prize. Let’s just say it was not a couple of hours I care to repeat.
Athletes need to make sure they give as much priority to their partners as they do to their racing buddies. They also need to make sure that their partners know they are more important than the dude who helps you improve your split times. And don’t give me that “if it bothered them they would say something” crap. I can speak from firsthand experience: Unless I’m ready to throw something at a wall, I’m extremely reluctant to add one more thing to my wife’s list of demands on her time.
Let’s face it- a day has only 24 hours. And athletes spend many of those hours working out with people other than their partners. Time for a simple experiment: for 2 weeks keep a log of how much time you spend working out with others (that includes gym time since most athletes train at the same times). Also keep track of either how much time your partner and you spend alone. I would be willing to bet in most cases the ratio is at least 3-4 to 1 in favor of workout time for most triathletes or marathoners. That is something your partner can’t fix alone. You’re the athlete always striving for the next milestone goal. Here’s the new one- making your partner is more of a priority than some damn race. Do non-athletes need to be assertive in making sure they aren’t trampled like a Gatorade cup at a mile 12 water stop? Yes. And athletes need to make sure they aren’t the ones doing the stomping.
It won’t take much: just a little effort by both sides. Anyone who can run a race (any anyone who can put up with them training for it) can find a way to make sure “spouse” ahead of “exercise” on the to do list.
Dave
