Triathletes shoud be beaten

One thing I’ve noticed at all my wife’s events is that 15% of endurance athletes need to be beaten.  Now I don’t mean a serious stomping that results in ER visits and injuries.  What I’m talking about is a good old fashioned “What the Hell’s wrong with you?” boot to the ass to knock the stupid out of their thick skulls.

Before you get your thong in a twist, think about it: 15% is not a bad number.  Every group has about 10% complete and total tools, so a sport based on individual goals only attracting another 5% of arrogant pricks is actually pretty good.  The fact is these people stand out because most athletes do a decent job of not being obsessive.  The people I’m talking about are the outliers.  You’ve seen the type: roving packs of guys and girls wearing trisuits in town the day before the race who can’t remember their spouses’ birthday or the last time they went on a date but can tell you every detail of the last 50 training sessions. 

And please don’t give me the “Less than 1% of all people will ever run a marathon” crap.  Less than 1% will staple their genitals to a spinning windmill blade but you don’t see people handing medals to them afterwards.  The problem comes with so many runners or triathletes forgetting this is their hobby.  If marathons or triathlons are your job that’s one thing.  But neglecting your family so you can be giddy about a medal or a personal best is one hell of a trade off.

I have a challenge to athletes. Answer one question honestly to yourself: is your partner the more important than racing or training?  If the answer is yes then find real tangible way to let them know that.  If the answer is no or even if you really have to think about that one, you’ve got some soul searching to do.

I’m thinking about setting up a expo booth at one the marathons or triathlons.  In the middle of all the booths selling crap for athletes, I’m going to sell wiffle ball bats to their spouses. Along with the bat is a stack of stickers of a jackass.  If an athlete acts like a dingbat to their partner, anyone with a bat gets to (lightly) whack them with it and mark them a sticker.  That will add one more sound to race experience: “THUNK”

TTFN

Dave